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Posted by angela On November - 27 - 2012 7 Comments

A proposito di telefonate,  ecco la domanda di Sara.      Here is Sara’s question (+ her possible answer):

 

Abito negli USA da qualche mese, ma non ho molti amici americani. I ragazzi che frequento all’università sono quasi tutti stranieri. Gli americani che ho conosciuto mi hanno detto che mi avrebbero chiamata, ma non si sono più fatti vivi. Perchè dicono che ti chiamano e poi non lo fanno?

La possibile risposta / Her possible answer:

Non vogliono mischiarsi con gli stranieri. Sono gentili se li vedi in classe, ma poi fuori preferiscono stare tra di loro.

 

 Qui sotto ci sono alcune risposte per Sara.  Scrivi la tua nei commenti e clicca REPLY.     Grazie.
 Read below some of the answers for Sara.  Please write your comment in the REPLY section. Thank you.

I think that people in America say that they will call you or text you it is just a formality. We are afraid of being rude to someone’s face, but by not calling them, eventually they will realize you do not want to be friends or you are too busy for them 

from  AMY

 

I agree with what Amy said-that most Americans, like a lot people, don’t like to be offensive to your face, and instead of being direct, they might choose to avoid an uncomfortable social situation by saying they’ll call, but then don’t. Also I think some Americans will use the phrase ‘i’ll call you’ very generally, not really meaning that they’ll do so at a specific time or right away. The important thing to understand is that if someone says they’ll call you and then they don’t, don’t be quick to assume it’s because they don’t like you, and especially that they just don’t want to associate with foreigners. It might be because they were busy or forgot. If it happens repeatedly, move on to other friends and don’t worry about it. There are plenty of Americans who enjoy being friends with people of other cultures and won’t be flakey or superficial. Hope that helps!

from Megan

 

A proposito, vi racconto una storia che mi è successa i primi anni che abitavo negli USA. Ero in ascensore nella biblioteca universitaria e mentre scendevo è entrata una ragazza dai capelli rossi che, sentendomi parlare in Italiano con una mia amica di Barcellona, ha incominciato a inserirsi nella conversazione. Il suo Italiano era buono, ma il suo accento sembrava quello di Oliver Hardy così io incominciai a ridere. Stranamente non si offese e mi rispose a tono ad alcune battute. Prima di scendere dall’ascensore ci scambiammo i numeri di telefono e le dissi : “Mi raccomando, non fare come tutti gli Americani che ti dicono che ti chiamano e poi spariscono. Io sono Italiana e il mio numero lo do solo a chi mi piace.”
Questo complimento, mi disse anni dopo, l’incoraggiò a non deludermi.

Da qualche mese l’ho ritrovata su Facebook e le ho scritto.  Secondo voi mi ha risposto?  Se voi dite a qualcuno “Poi ti chiamo” lo fate davvero?

from Angie

 

I am really glad you have asked this! As an American living in Italy, I am struggling with this also. I am on the other side of this question, I am guilty of saying, ‘I’ll call you” and then sometimes never do. I’ll give you my reasons and perhaps someone can enlighten me as to what Italians are thinking when they hear the phrase. For me, I say “I’ll call you” or “let’s get together” because I WANT to get together or call them. I intend to call them or meet, at some point in time. But until a date or specific time is attatched to the phrase, I will consider the date ‘tentative’. I have said to an Italian friend, “Let’s get together this weekend” but until we decide on an actual time and day, I don’t consider it an actual ‘date’ yet. I know I have upset my Italian friends when we don’t meet because it seems they actually thought we had an actual ‘date’ that weekend. But Americans say the phrase all the time to each other, and it doesn’t hold a lot of weight until the actual date and time is made. Usually no feelings are hurt, we understand we’re all busy. Americans are notorious for overbooking our schedules. Hope this helps! 

 

 

From Sandy

Categories: Culture of USA

7 Responses

  1. Laura says:

    Se non è passato molto tempo forse aspettano qualche giorno per non risultare invadenti, oppure sperano che facendosi “desiderare” un po’ li troverai più interessanti, c’è anche chi la pensa così!

  2. elisa b says:

    MAybE they will phone you the next day so dont you worry it’s normal

  3. marco g says:

    for me they do not call you because they forget it or they are too much busy in that day

  4. daniel says:

    secondo me o non erano realmente interssati oppure si sono semplicemente dimenticati…

  5. giulnat says:

    Hi I’m Giulio and I’m italian. In my opinion for your question there are different answers. The first one can be that the people who you met were not interested to know you; another answer more probably is than they forgot to call you. These, for me, are the main reason because they did not answer you.

  6. Isabella says:

    @Sandy hi I’m Isabella and I’m italian. I read your question and i get your reasons of what you mean for “i’ll call you”. But you have to understand that italians, generally, when they say “i’ll call you” (and you have to know that they don’t use the future also, they use only the present) they really mean that they’ll call you, and they do it. That’s because italians are not that formal, they usually say what they really think and want to do. So they think that if you say something like that, you’re going to do it, instead if you don’t they think they think you’re jocking.

  7. angie says:

    @ Sandy.
    When they hear the phrase “I’ll call you” the Italians think “she/he will call me” and they hope she/he will.

    If the Italians would translate that “ll” (that I’ am sure they don’t even hear) into the proper future tense, they will probably understand that it is a hypothetical appointment. In Italian they would never (I mean never) talk in the future tense (unless something is very-very far in time or it is a remote possibility) and simply say “ti chiamo” o “ci vediamo questo week-end” in the present tense, so it is understood that it is a done deal.
    Sandy, in Italy we have a hard time to schedule social appointments for the year 2014! Carpe diem Sandy, Carpe diem!

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